Chiner

....and I think I forgot to mention

I have been praying about going to China next year. Let me tell you about it.

When I was a kid my parents supported a lot of missionaries and we would often have them over to our house and would hear about their stories. I loved hearing about the strange adventures but also heard about a lot of heartache. I decided at a young age that while missions was great, it was not for me and that I wanted to be a rich doctor and travel the world and see it for myself. I could sent money to missionaries, right?

Then in highschool, I went on a few mission trips and got involved in OCC (Operation Christmas Child) and became the Relay Center Coordinator. I got to travel to Costa Rica and deliver shoe boxes to these kids and tell them about Jesus! Even thought that trip was over four years ago, I remember it like yesterday because I had never felt so fulfilled, satisfied, and delighted in the Lord. Even though I already had the travel bug put in me, I now how the desire and passion to do missions.

I started thinking about where I wanted to do missions and decided that I really like South America and Africa especially, and after going to Northern Ireland and England and Scotland, decided that Europe wasn't too bad either :) I started telling the Lord that I was willing to go anywhere BUT CHINA.

My brother and his wife decided to go to China for a year of missions. That's nice, I thought. Now they will smell funny and act wierd too. When they came back, I enjoyed hearing about their adventures, but my heart was hard towards the Chinese people.

When I came to Wheaton in the Fall, I took a World Music class. We studied lots people and cultures and how music has influenced or affected them. It was quite fascinating. I remember sitting in class and our teacher telling about traveling to Western China and studying the Wieger people. I was on the edge of my seat. "Try to look like you are disinterested," I remember telling myself. Why was I all of a sudden interested in hearing about the Chinese people after not caring for so long?

I started attending College Church in Wheaton and heard about a group going on a year long trip to China. My heart was softened when I heard about what they were doing and heard stories of people who had gone. My roomate told me that she was thinking about applying so I started praying for the team and for her. Someone asked me if I was going and I laughed it off, but walked away sobered at the thought of going. I started thining about it, but couldn't really bring myself to pray about me going. I felt so inadequate and unprepared. How could the Lord use someone like me to bring the gospel to people far away? Why go now when I'm in school? Wouldn't that be hampering my education and just plain bad timing?

My roomate eventually confronted me about it and asked if I had prayed about ME going. Deep down I wanted to go, but felt so unsure. She and other friends affirmed me and encouraged me that God can do anything by his power through those that love and serve the Lord.

So here I am, sitting down to work on my application for China.
Here I am Lord, send me. I feel like a helpless lover who is so overcome by Christ's blood and beauty that I feel like a crazy person. This makes no sense and I love it.

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. ~A.w.Tozer

Good morning. It's nice to come home for thanksgiving and spend time with the family. We all sat around the table at my grandparents and shared of the many things that the Lord has done to bless our family this year alone, and it took us over an hour just to go around the circle one time! Of all the many many blessings this year, I am most thankful for the fact that everyone in my family has a personal relationship with Christ and is pursuing Him on a daily basis. There is nothing more that I could ask for. How often I take for granted that my family is bound together in heart and mind.

Reflecting on this thanksgiving time, I have thought a lot about a sermon that my pastor Jay Thomas preached about Colossians 3: 15-17 which talks about giving thanks. I love how the two things that we are to do as new creations is to let the word of Christ dwell in us and that we should preach the gospel to one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. It tells us three times to BE THANKFUL! As I was thinking more about the importance of thankfulness, I came across the passage in Romans chapter 1 which talks about the reason why the people's hearts were darkened and they became futile in their thinking is because they did not have a high enough view of God (did not honor him) and they did not GIVE THANKS. wow

So, reading Knowledge of the Holy by Tozer and realizing Paul's other point about not honoring the Lord- Tozer says that "no religion has ever been greater than its idea of God. Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God." Tozer even references the verse in Romans 1:21 and talks about idolatry. Lord, how blessed I am to be able to study your word and have the veil lifted from my eyes. Help me to daily see you more clearly and trust in your unfailing love for me and work in my life.

I love the paradox of life, love, and spirituality...

"Darkness to the intellect But sunshine to the heart." ~Frederick W. Faber

I can't sing dry and dressed.

The last couple days have been very emotional and filled with much activity. I am continually amazed at God's goodness and faithfulness which is so evident in my life. I am blessed beyond understanding with amazing family and friends.

My biggest answer to prayer and much worry was the fact that I just found out from the theory professor that all four semesters of my theory will transfer! This means that I will not be changing my major as I had almost decided to do. Praise the Lord!

The weather has been so beautiful at Wheaton- what an unexpected blessing that the nice weather has lasted so long and then has continued to come back again and again. I almost reminds me of North Carolina with the weather that keeps you on your toes. :)

My future seems so uncertain and unsure. Besides not knowing what classes i'm taking next semester, I don't know what I want to be or do... or who I want to share it with! It's all so very exciting and at the same time stressful. I'm learning to trust God more and more with my days and seek to serve him in every moment of my life since I have no assurance of the next moments.

All good gifts...

what a blessed woman I am...

I am leaving so many people behind that I care for and love and who love me!! This Summer it has been a blessing to live at home and do summer school, but working for the Davis Family has been the highlight. What an example they are to me of unhindered love and oh how I wish I were just as giving of my time, money, and love as they are to me and the people that they interact with. Elijah, Grace, and Micah have stolen my heart and I will truly miss them. Leslie has been such a constant and patient friend. How I respect and admire Hubert for his love for the Lord and his desire to serve him faithfully and use his gifts to glorify HIM.

Dating Kevin Garrett has also been an adventure. We started dating the last week of school and he has been in Charlotte the entire summer, so our relationship has been mostly long distance and starting next week will be even more so. What a gift and blessing it has been to get to know him and his heart for the Lord. I respect him for his trust in the Lord and his desire to step out in faith about our relationship, even when things for us are uncertain and will be difficult from the start. Only time can tell- but i hope we last :)

Must go to bed. Been up packing and reminiscing.

"I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified." Acts 20:32
What a comfort those words are...

Why Wheaton?

This should most likely have been my first post, however, since I never seem to do things quite the way I should, It's better now then never.

There are many reasons why I feel led to Wheaton- some of them yet to be understood or explained I'm sure. A few of these are:
- My time at UNC has been amazing- I have learned much and been challenged much. In the last year, however, I felt called to Wheaton because I want to be nurtured and grow in my development as a student, musician, and follower of Christ. I desire to have my faith and my profession be intimately intertwined and I feel that Wheaton offers a challenging environment academically as well as a place for me to grow spiritually and learn how to bring those together as I seek to understand how the Lord wants me to serve him best with my gifts and abilities.
- When making my decision about Wheaton, I felt pressed upon my heart the importance of my friendship with Clara Stam. We have been best friends ever since she left NC in 7th grade. We always said that we would be college roomates, and I feel that being with her especially during her dad's illness would be a way that I could serve her and love on her.
-The music conservatory is very excellent and has a lot to offer. I am scared but also very excited about joining them making music and boldly proclaiming the message of the gospel. One of the hardest things about studying music at UNC was that so many of the music people that I worked with were not people that I felt like I wanted to spend a lot of time with or wanted to emmulate with my lifestyle and so many times I was unsatisfied by the lack of spiritual talk surrounding music. My love for music is intimatly tied with my faith and worship of my God. I can't wait to have conversations about the spiritual emphasis of music!
- Finally, I am excited about going to a new Church and learning under the spiritual giants that are are Wheaton. Bible Church has been a blessing to me for so many years and I have had so many people pour into my life and be the body of Christ to me. I look forward to attending another church and consider where the Lord might want to me to serve him.

Phew! I think that's enough for now!

"This is the way; walk in it"

Dear Friends and Family-
It is hard to believe that I will be leaving in just a week or so to go to Wheaton! Many of you have encouraged and blessed me here in Chapel Hill and I am sad to think about going, yet at the same time, excited about what the Lord has in store for me. I was encouraged and challenged today by these words from Isaiah 30:

Isaiah 30

Woe to the Obstinate Nation

1 "Woe to the obstinate children,"
declares the LORD,
"to those who carry out plans that are not mine,
forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit,
heaping sin upon sin;

2 who go down to Egypt
without consulting me;
who look for help to Pharaoh's protection,
to Egypt's shade for refuge.

How many times am I like the unfaithful and untrusting Israelites? Yet, it does not stop there. It is hard for me to sumarize all the things that Lord says, yet the verse that spoke to me the most today was...

21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

I feel like in so many ways, God has made it clear about my decision to go to Wheaton and this verse gave me comfort, that even on those days when I doubt my decision or feel more than ever lost and undirected, the Lord is there to guide me. I must remember who is in the boat with me and not loose faith, for the Lord protects those that he loves! (Mark 4:35-40)

Even in these last few days I feel like I have learned so much about trusting the Lord, and I am so excited about the new struggles and challenges that lie ahead. Today is the day to equip myself with the word of God so that I can fight the good fight with HIS sword in my hand.
More to come soon!
Annie