Here we go!

I got an email today from College Church:

This email is to inform you that the College Church Board of Missions has approved you to be a part of next year's ***** Team.

dang.

okay, Lord. Start your engines.

humph

1 Cor 8:1-3

I don't fit into this culture. Clapping hands and high fives are awkward, just as me in America sometimes seems strange.

"Greatness is never a given, it must be earned." Barack Obama

Hebrews 12:4


Hebrews 12:12

These are my thoughts of the day summed up.

My Prayer for the New Year- even though it is the 12th :)

NEW YEAR

O LORD,
Length of days does not profit me except the days are passed
       in thy presence, in thy service, to thy glory.
Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides, sustains,
       sanctifies, aids every hour,
   that I may not be one moment apart from thee,
   but may rely on thy Spirit
       to supply every thought,
       speak in every word,
       direct every step,
       prosper every work,
       build up every mote of faith,
       and give me a desire
           to show forth thy praise,
           testify thy love,
           advance thy kingdom.
I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
       with thee, O Father, as my harbor,
           thee, O Son, at my helm,
           thee, O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.
Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,
               my lamp burning,
               my ear open to thy calls,
               my heart full of love,
               my soul free.
Give me thy grace to sanctify me,
       thy comforts to cheer,
       thy wisdom to teach,
       thy right hand to guide,
       thy counsel to instruct,
       thy law to judge,
       thy presence to stabilize.
May thy fear be my awe,
       thy triumphs my joy.

-The Valley of Vision

Chiner

....and I think I forgot to mention

I have been praying about going to China next year. Let me tell you about it.

When I was a kid my parents supported a lot of missionaries and we would often have them over to our house and would hear about their stories. I loved hearing about the strange adventures but also heard about a lot of heartache. I decided at a young age that while missions was great, it was not for me and that I wanted to be a rich doctor and travel the world and see it for myself. I could sent money to missionaries, right?

Then in highschool, I went on a few mission trips and got involved in OCC (Operation Christmas Child) and became the Relay Center Coordinator. I got to travel to Costa Rica and deliver shoe boxes to these kids and tell them about Jesus! Even thought that trip was over four years ago, I remember it like yesterday because I had never felt so fulfilled, satisfied, and delighted in the Lord. Even though I already had the travel bug put in me, I now how the desire and passion to do missions.

I started thinking about where I wanted to do missions and decided that I really like South America and Africa especially, and after going to Northern Ireland and England and Scotland, decided that Europe wasn't too bad either :) I started telling the Lord that I was willing to go anywhere BUT CHINA.

My brother and his wife decided to go to China for a year of missions. That's nice, I thought. Now they will smell funny and act wierd too. When they came back, I enjoyed hearing about their adventures, but my heart was hard towards the Chinese people.

When I came to Wheaton in the Fall, I took a World Music class. We studied lots people and cultures and how music has influenced or affected them. It was quite fascinating. I remember sitting in class and our teacher telling about traveling to Western China and studying the Wieger people. I was on the edge of my seat. "Try to look like you are disinterested," I remember telling myself. Why was I all of a sudden interested in hearing about the Chinese people after not caring for so long?

I started attending College Church in Wheaton and heard about a group going on a year long trip to China. My heart was softened when I heard about what they were doing and heard stories of people who had gone. My roomate told me that she was thinking about applying so I started praying for the team and for her. Someone asked me if I was going and I laughed it off, but walked away sobered at the thought of going. I started thining about it, but couldn't really bring myself to pray about me going. I felt so inadequate and unprepared. How could the Lord use someone like me to bring the gospel to people far away? Why go now when I'm in school? Wouldn't that be hampering my education and just plain bad timing?

My roomate eventually confronted me about it and asked if I had prayed about ME going. Deep down I wanted to go, but felt so unsure. She and other friends affirmed me and encouraged me that God can do anything by his power through those that love and serve the Lord.

So here I am, sitting down to work on my application for China.
Here I am Lord, send me. I feel like a helpless lover who is so overcome by Christ's blood and beauty that I feel like a crazy person. This makes no sense and I love it.

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. ~A.w.Tozer

Good morning. It's nice to come home for thanksgiving and spend time with the family. We all sat around the table at my grandparents and shared of the many things that the Lord has done to bless our family this year alone, and it took us over an hour just to go around the circle one time! Of all the many many blessings this year, I am most thankful for the fact that everyone in my family has a personal relationship with Christ and is pursuing Him on a daily basis. There is nothing more that I could ask for. How often I take for granted that my family is bound together in heart and mind.

Reflecting on this thanksgiving time, I have thought a lot about a sermon that my pastor Jay Thomas preached about Colossians 3: 15-17 which talks about giving thanks. I love how the two things that we are to do as new creations is to let the word of Christ dwell in us and that we should preach the gospel to one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. It tells us three times to BE THANKFUL! As I was thinking more about the importance of thankfulness, I came across the passage in Romans chapter 1 which talks about the reason why the people's hearts were darkened and they became futile in their thinking is because they did not have a high enough view of God (did not honor him) and they did not GIVE THANKS. wow

So, reading Knowledge of the Holy by Tozer and realizing Paul's other point about not honoring the Lord- Tozer says that "no religion has ever been greater than its idea of God. Worship is pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God." Tozer even references the verse in Romans 1:21 and talks about idolatry. Lord, how blessed I am to be able to study your word and have the veil lifted from my eyes. Help me to daily see you more clearly and trust in your unfailing love for me and work in my life.

I love the paradox of life, love, and spirituality...

"Darkness to the intellect But sunshine to the heart." ~Frederick W. Faber

I can't sing dry and dressed.

The last couple days have been very emotional and filled with much activity. I am continually amazed at God's goodness and faithfulness which is so evident in my life. I am blessed beyond understanding with amazing family and friends.

My biggest answer to prayer and much worry was the fact that I just found out from the theory professor that all four semesters of my theory will transfer! This means that I will not be changing my major as I had almost decided to do. Praise the Lord!

The weather has been so beautiful at Wheaton- what an unexpected blessing that the nice weather has lasted so long and then has continued to come back again and again. I almost reminds me of North Carolina with the weather that keeps you on your toes. :)

My future seems so uncertain and unsure. Besides not knowing what classes i'm taking next semester, I don't know what I want to be or do... or who I want to share it with! It's all so very exciting and at the same time stressful. I'm learning to trust God more and more with my days and seek to serve him in every moment of my life since I have no assurance of the next moments.